Children and screens

Screens (televisions, tablets, computers, smartphones) are ubiquitous in our lives, and our children are exposed to them very early on. Their effects on children's development are not insignificant. It is very important, as parents and educators, to understand these effects in order to use screens in a reasoned, controlled, and beneficial way. Here are some guidelines that can help you better manage your child's screen time. We highly recommend reading the article 'Screens and Children'9 from Naître et Grandir for more information.

What are the main guidelines?

Psychiatrist Serge Tisseron's 3-6-9-12 program is an essential tool; its guidelines are very clear, easy to adapt to our daily lives, and it follows children's development according to their age. Here are his tips for children aged 3 to 6, along with our comments and advice:

• Set clear rules for screen time.

There isn't a magic number of hours per week that works for everyone, but limit screen time as much as possible, and arrange it so that it's not a daily occurrence.

• Respect the age ratings indicated for programs.

Preschool children do not have enough perspective to understand and manage the images or scenes they see and the emotions they trigger. Between the ages of 3 and 6, children should not watch TV news, action series or films with violence, or play violent video games.

• Tablets, televisions, and computers should be in the living room, not in the bedroom.
• Prohibit digital devices during meals and before bedtime.

Mealtime is both an important opportunity for teaching about food and a crucial moment for children's socialization. Screens prevent children from being aware of what they are eating, and also stop them from telling you about their day.

• Never use them to calm your child.

When your child is overwhelmed by emotions, use the tips mentioned in the article "My child and their emotions" to help them calm down. "Calming" them with a screen is merely a distraction and does not help your child develop their ability to manage their emotions. We also advise against offering a screen to help them "wait" in the car, at the doctor's waiting room, or in a restaurant. Talk to your child about what you see, what you've done, what you're going to do, and help them find more enriching activities they can do alone (drawing, singing songs).

• Playing together is better than playing alone.

Humans are relational beings, and children are wired to learn from their interactions. Two children sharing a tablet discuss what they are doing, learning to share and take turns. Watching a family movie on a Sunday afternoon is an excellent opportunity to discuss what you see, talk about your childhood (share with them the movies you loved as a child), and spend quality time together.

And two final pieces of advice:

• Trust in your child's ability to do without screens.

If your child is used to having the television on during breakfast in the mornings, the first few days without it will likely be a bit challenging, but hold firm, and you'll see they will quickly adapt. It might sometimes seem "easier" to use screens to manage your child, but what's truly easier is having a child who doesn't need a screen to be calm. Regulating screen time is an investment in their development and also in your quality of life.

• Trust in your own ability to do without screens.

In this article, we've mainly discussed children's exposure to screens, but the time you spend with your phone on or the television playing also significantly influences your child's development. Keep your smartphone away during meals, evening routines, and when you're playing with your child. Be present with them. The best way to teach our children responsible screen use is to model it ourselves!

Paula Buswell

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